I don't even know what a schedule is.

Some people have a routine. They get up at the same time every day, they go to bed at the same time every night. They work out (I don't even know what that means!). They have a standard work schedule, a time when they can expect to be home every day.

I have no such thing. At all. Not even a little bit. Some days I wish I had a schedule, and some days I think it would bore me terribly. For now, I'm just happy doing what I'm doing.

Would you like a taste? Here's this trip:

Day 1 (Yesterday. I was going to write what day that actually was, but I have no idea.):

4:00am -- alarm, at home. Snooze, get up, breakfast, shower, sit, dress, take Tylenol and Sudafed, sit, make-up/hair, grab bags, leave.
6:10am -- report time to airport. Supposed to be in crew room, am getting through security. No big deal, though. Go to crew room. Check mailbox. Rejoice that my missing apron has found its way back to me (complete with all the money in the pocket, yikes!). Check memos.
6:40am -- report to gate. Find out how many passengers I have (oh, full? Fantastic.). Pre-flight my plane. Put my stuff away. Liquor paperwork. Board passengers. More paperwork. Announcements. Get beverages for pilots. Close door. Safety demo. Let's go. Sorry folks, I'm feeling shitty, no full beverage service for you this morning, let me know if you'd like anything. Walk through cabin. Get drinks.

Sometime after this, my flight ended. I did my post-flight walk-through, went into the lav to blow my nose, and threw up. Fun. I came back out of the lav, a ramp agent was waiting in the aisle, asked if I was ready to board. Thirty seconds later, I was smiling and greeting new passengers, hoping my breath was okay.

Sometime after that, that flight ended. Had a two-hour break in MSP. Puked. Got tea. Burnt tongue. Tea didn't taste good anyway, threw it out. Sit. Sit. Try to doze. Try to compose. Ooop... bathroom, more puking.

Then I had another flight. Same as above.

2:30pm -- arrive at hotel for overnight.

Nap.

5:00pm -- ate a can of peaches, tentatively. They stayed down. Watched American Idol. Took break to walk next door to McDonalds, got double cheese, coke, and a mcflurry. All miraculously stayed down. Hoorah food! Hoorah calories!

10pm -- bedtime.

Day 2 (Today. Seriously, what day is it?):

4:40am -- alarm. Snooze snooze, get up 5.10. Shower, dress, pack bags, go downstairs. Grab a banana for breakfast. Bite... omg it tastes good. Rejoice!
6:00am -- shuttle to airport. I like walking around the ramp to get to the plane. Makes me feel fancy to be allowed to walk around down there. [Ramp = the outside areas of the airport.]
6:20am -- report time. Already on plane. Pre-flight, paperwork, put stuff away, blow nose, sanitize hands. Board passengers, close bins, do more paperwork, get beverages for pilots, make announcements, get ready to close door, get told by captain we're not ready to close door. Wait. Wait. Wait. Captain says he's on the phone with maintenance. Wait. Tell passenger who called me I'm not sure what the hold-up is, I'm waiting to hear from the captain. Signal back and forth with J, the station manager guy who I always see here. He mimes choking the captain for the hold-up. I laugh. Finally figure out there's a maintenance problem. Deplane passengers or no? Wait. Wait. Don't deplane. Wait. Give them option to deplane; half do, half stay. Wait. Oop, the rest have to deplane now. Everyone off! Get off plane, go to bathroom (no puking! Rejoice!), buy poptarts. Back on plane. Wait. Ready to reboard, hoorah!

8:30am -- depart. Supposed to depart at 6:50. And it appears we lost two passengers off our flight. Ah well, the easier for me to do a beverage service! Do beverage service. Sanitize hands constantly. Prepare for landing. More announcements. Finish paperwork.
9:37am -- arrive in MSP. Supposed to arrive at 8:09, and supposed to have five more legs. Day's not supposed to end until 8:30 pm. Talk to crew scheduling, get new schedule: One more leg for the day, same plane, take it to Des Moines, spend the night. Rejoice! Stay on plane, cross seat belts, sit, relax, wait.
10:20am -- Des Moines flight. Beverage service. Slight delay. De-ice. Make friendly talk with nice grandma in row 1, going to take care of her almost-three-year-old granddaughter while said granddaughter's parents are working and staying with grandson in hospital. Deplane, walk-through, cross seat belts. New crew boarding already, grab stuff, don't forget apron!
12:00ish arrive in hotel for overnight. Rejoice!

Then till now: Undress, and quickly. Get this uniform OFF of me! Redress in street clothes. Feel much better. Blow nose. Turn on computer. Take out paperwork so I don't forget to do it later. Fo. Internet. Fo. Eat poptart, drink Pepsi. Peruse Bennigan's menu.

Sometime in the near future: Order room service.

All day: Be filled with sass and happiness. Not only did I only have to work two legs instead of six today, but I feel a thousand times better than yesterday, I'm loving my hair today, and I love the shirt I decided to pack for this trip. Sass and happiness my friends, sass and happiness.

Tomorrow:
5:00am shuttle to the airport. Ugh. But only two legs, should be in for our overnight at noon. Hopefully the crew will go to Dinosaurs for some eats. Yum.



Seriously, though, I can't believe how much happier and better I am today than yesterday. No puking, not as much snot, no constant light-headedness. It's awesome. AWESOME.