Monday, February 9, 2009

A brief moment.

We eventually decided it was time to leave the coffee shop. We got up and walked outside, and both started heading in opposite directions, toward our respective cars. So we paused, looked back, said our goodbyes. He squinted and gave me that look, and asked, "Awkward to hug, or not awkward?" I shrugged, said eh, opened my arms for a hug, and my mind went blank.

I don't know that I've ever experienced such a moment, with no thoughts at all. I didn't even breathe. I didn't try to memorize the moment, I didn't try to think about how it was making me feel, I didn't even register the feeling of his arms around me. I was holding back tears, but not thinking about holding back tears. For those seconds, I was just existing.

I patted his back, let go, and turned away from him before I had to see his face again, just it case it would send my tears over the edge, just in case my eyes were getting red. I started walking away, he said he'd call me next time he's in town, which would probably be June. I looked back, smiled and said ok, and waved.

Even after I got in my car, I didn't cry. Not one tear. Perhaps I've finally shed enough over him.


  1. My heart skipped a beat reading that. You've certainly shed enough tears over him. Keep that chin up!

  2. I feel for you. I truly do. I am happy that you are content with your place in life. You are truly an inspiration.