A sampling of my thoughts on a typical work day:

No, I'm sorry, I do not have a garbage on my tiny cart. Isn't it impressive enough that I can fit enough soda and juice to quench the thirst of an entire plane full of people, not to mention a couple bottles of water, coffee, an assortment of cream and sugar, snacks, napkins, cups, and ice? I'll come back through to get your cup in a few minutes.

How important are you that you can't stand to be away from your laptop for our TWENTY-FIVE minute flight? The flight deck never chimed me, which means we never reached an altitude where it was safe for you to be using it anyway, which means I never even made the announcement telling you you could turn it on in the first place. So kindly turn it the fuck off. Oh you're saving? That's fine, I understand. Oh yeah, my computer is slow too. But uh... I told you this was a 25 minute flight. Why even turn it on if you know it's so slow?

Oh yay! I much prefer hotels with hangers with abnormally small hooks to hotels with those stupid non-hangers, designed not so much to be useful as to be unstealable. I hate those things. The metal is always old and makes my teeth hurt. Hooray for tiny-headed hangers!

I don't get why they don't just leave the luggage rack set up. I'd really like to know the reason behind putting it away. I'd be much more likely to use it (as opposed to simply putting my dirty, beat-up roller bag on the extra bed) if it were just there, waiting for me in all its wobbly glory.

Seriously, why do I always get the Flintstones theme in my head before take-off? It makes no sense.


Wow, I'm angry a lot, aren't I? I'm actually probably the smileyest flight attendant you've ever had. I keep the anger and general incredulity in my head only.

I think I would've made a good actress.

Center of the universe.

I've been a lot of places. I had even before I was a flight attendant. Fourteen countries (well, I may need to amend that…I’ll get to that bit another day), and I’m not even sure how many states. It’s one of my life goals to travel to all 50 states and to get a shot glass from each. I collect shot glasses (and surprisingly enough, don’t actually use them for booze). I’ve been places that people apparently don’t expect me to have been to, like Washington D.C. (twice, actually) and Disney World and Las Vegas and Pompeii. I spent my fifteenth birthday at a bar in Vegas. How many people can say that? Not many, I'd wager.

But there's still a lot of places I haven't been.

I've been watching the travel channel in my hotel today, and I realized just how limited my tour of the country has been. It's pretty extensive, really, but the problem is that our country is HUGE. I've seen a lot, but you can go home with thousands of grains of sand in your swimsuit alone and still never have touched millions of grains on the beach, you know?

I was watching a show about the best bar foods, and now I want to go to all those bars. I want to go to Boston and California and Seattle and Texas and New York City.

Ah, New York City. Once upon a time, I was going to live there. I don't think I'm brave enough to move there on my own, though, and besides, I'm having too much fun with my job right now. But today, today my schedule got changed and instead of going to Kalamazoo, I went to Rochester, NY. I didn't even leave the gate area, but I was in New York today. I was nowhere near NYC, but still, I was in New York today, and that is way more exciting to me than I thought it would be. But it's one of those places I've always wanted to go and never have. Plus, it smelled amazing. I don't know what they had in that airport, but I probably should have investigated and devoured it immediately. I have a few days off in a row coming up, and now I'm seriously considering visiting NYC for a day. I was going to wait until it was a little warmer, but for some reason, the east coast is like an irresistible siren call to me.


I know that a lot of you are probably waiting and hoping for an update on my coffee meet-up last week. I'm finding it hard to write about. I just am not sure what to say, I guess. But I'll keep trying. Just for you.